"Should my mother-in-law be my real estate agent?"

As featured in HousingWire. 

Crazy Rich Asians' Mother-in-Law (actress Michelle Yeoh).

Should your mother-in-law be your real estate agent or represent you in any part of the buying and selling process (including being your mortgage broker, home inspector, etc.)?

Dave Ramsey says, "You’re gonna get screwed.”

But economics disagrees. I think the better question is:

What’s the cost of NOT working with your mother-in-law? 

Whether or not you agree with the saying “time is money”, I believe that whatever you think you might be financially saving by going with a third-party real estate professional, you will likely breakeven or worse, be in a deficit hole, if you deduct the amount of time that is lost between hostility and all around bad blood if you decide to avoid working with a close family member (or friend) with whom you want regular contact. (This all can be waived for distant relatives/acquaintances whom you rarely see and no one will give you grief over.) 

I am currently teaching a summer Econ. course for MBA grad students, and this dilemma is a key sticking point for them and many people to grasp: Opportunity costs

Opportunity costs are what you give up when you choose one option over another. And let’s be real — the older we get, the more we realize our mortality, whether through illness, loss of other family members and friends, or simply our aging appearances (I feel like I randomly woke up one morning with a patch of gray hairs around my temple, ha!). 

If you have ever seen The Bear, then you know about intense family gatherings!

So the opportunity cost for something is not simply the dollar amount. It also includes lost time, peace of mind (including the ability to attend family functions without literally or figuratively throwing knives or forks like on FX’s The Bear), or any other benefit. 

“Were you around way back in the 1900s?” asked by my Gen. Z students (ha!). If so, you probably remember Mastercard’s marketing campaign, Priceless. In this commercial example, the cost of a dress was not simply what was spent at the store, but the expression on her ex’s face… priceless.

In short, be sure to factor in the cost of your peace of mind, which frankly may be priceless (as the old Mastercard commercials wisely affirmed).

Happy Selling!

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Dr. Lee Davenport is an MBA/graduate school adjunct professor, executive/real estate coach, and author (including Be a Fair Housing D.E.C.O.D.E.R. and How to Profit with Your Personality). Dr. Lee trains real estate agents and business executives around the globe on how to work smarter with their unique personalities and how to “advocate, not alienate,” so everyone has access and opportunity in real estate.

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